Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: "Can You Handle The Truth?", part 2

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: "Can You Handle The Truth?", part 2: Wednesday Wisdom by Jay Jay Speaks February 8, 2012 “Can You Handle The Truth?” Part 2 In searching for “THE TRUTH” those who desire ...

"Can You Handle The Truth?", part 2

Wednesday Wisdom

by Jay Jay Speaks

February 8, 2012

“Can You Handle The Truth?”

Part 2

In searching for “THE TRUTH” those who desire to know it must be willing to take hold of the painful reality that what they find may be other than or contrary to their preconceived idea of reality.

We often bandy about phrases such as “the truth shall set you free,” taken from John 8:32 (KJV) “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” but what many don’t count on is that being set free is a painful, gut wrenching, birthing process from which you can never return. Think back to the movie The Matrix, starring Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburn. There is a scene in The Matrix where one of those who “knew the truth about life being a façade and the machines harvesting humans for food, wanted to make a deal with an “agent” (a representative of the Matrix) to be removed from this state of “knowing and reality” and placed back into the matrix, clueless and under the same false reality that the rest of mankind existed in. He knew the truth but found it too unbearable to continue so, he desired to “un-know” and go back to a state of pleasant ignorance.

The truth, it seems, is powerful. The truth can be painful. The truth will set you free but it will hurt and sometimes it will hurt a lot. Sometimes the only thing we can think of to stop the hurt is to go back to not knowing the truth, but once you know, “ya-know” and well…that SUCKS.

We can split hairs and created long winded explanations of what is really true or who’s truth we’re are referring to and perhaps that would be an enjoyable exercise for intellects or academicians to participate in one day. But for the purposes of this entry I’ll use Dictionary.com as my reference point. So if there is a dispute, I will quote one of my mentors Dr. Jack A. Taylor, when I say, “Don’t argue with me argue with my facts.” Dictionary.com defines truth as; the true or actual state of a matter, conformity with fact or reality; a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like; actuality or actual existence. So based on this foundation I caution you all that if you are seeking “THE TRUTH” be prepared to be in pain. I don’t mean to suggest that “THE TRUTH” will always hurt, but I am suggesting that sometimes we have allowed ourselves to falsely believe in the pleasantness of a lie, or distortion. Sometimes we say we want to know the truth, but the magnitude of that request is unknown because of the arrogance of our ignorance.  We believe that the truth will coincide or confirm what we already believe or think. When we flaunt our self-exalting beliefs to this level we are setting ourselves up for a painful fall.

Just like Col. Nathan Jessup (Jack Nicholson) in the movie A FEW GOOD MEN, life attempts to prepare us for the impending blow by telling us “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.” Sometimes life tries to back us off because it can see the plunge that is awaiting us if we continue to pursue “THE TRUTH.”

Sometimes “THE TRUTH,” “THE WHOLE TRUTH,” AND “NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH” is more than we are prepared to handle. Sometimes the truth is:

·         It’s not our partner’s issues that are ruining our relationship. It’s ours!

·         The other person doesn’t love us!

·         Our parents are not the perfect representation of manhood or womanhood we wanted to believe they were!

·         Your child did do it!

·         Your child is not hanging with the wrong crowd, but your child IS THE BAD INFLUENCE on the other kids!

·         Your partner DOES love you, but still made a devastating decision to betray your trust.

·         That dress doesn’t make you look fat. YOU’RE JUST FAT!

·         It doesn’t happen to every guy, and YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS HER LAST BOYFRIEND WAS IN BED!

·         You didn’t get the job because you’re not qualified or you just don’t have the experience they wanted!

·         Your life isn’t working out the way you thought, and it is YOUR FAULT!

·         People are not “hating” on you, you have a BAD ATTITUDE!

·         That man you’re waiting to marry you IS NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU!

·         You are not “BIG BONED” you are considerable overweight!

·         What you were taught about God ISN’T REAL!

Whatever the situation or scenario, if you are a true “TRUTH” seeker you must prepare yourself for the reality that once your find the truth it may hurt your feelings, confirm your beliefs or shatter your world. I guess one could say that “THE TRUTH” doesn’t care how you feel about it or how you react towards it.  The truth is what it is and it doesn’t apologize for being what it is.

The truth is there all along, often just beyond our comfortable grasp. The truth is always looking at us, even if we don’t see it.

Ask yourself, “Can I handle the truth?” If you answer “YES,” buckle your seatbelt and try to enjoy the ride. If you answered “MAYBE” not sure, take my advice and leave it alone. If you answered “NO” I respect your response and say to you, good luck.

Regardless of your response don’t wait until next week ask the question, ask yourself today, answer today and live your life accordingly.

Do it today, on HUMP DAY!

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: Lonely Decision

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: Lonely Decision: Lonely Decision by Jay Jay Speaks February 7, 2012 According to sources in the Los Angeles coroner’s office, the February 1, 2012 death o...

Lonely Decision

Lonely Decision

by Jay Jay Speaks

February 7, 2012

According to sources in the Los Angeles coroner’s office, the February 1, 2012 death of TV pioneer Don Corneilus (host, director and producer of Soul Train, the longest running music television show in history) is officially being ruled a “suicide.”

This will come as a disappointment to many people, particularly many in the African-American community. I’ve already read and heard many black people comment that, they “can’t believe that Don Corneilus actually killed himself,” as if suicide is the forbidden decision for black Americans. Long is the history of denial, refusal and community delusion when it comes to the African American community and the issue of suicide.

For many African Americans it is far easier to grasp the concept that a family member or loved one accidentally overdosed on drugs or alcohol, or was senselessly gunned down in the streets than to come to grips with the reality that a black person may have taken their own life. We can more easily allow ourselves to devise elaborate conspiracy theories of how someone in power (police, politicians or drug kingpins) arranged for someone to be taken out through a conversion of circumstances than to admit that someone we know and cared about reached a conclusion that they would end their own life rather than continue to endure whatever tragedy, depression, sickness, illness, bullying or lack of acceptance their current reality brings. I mean so many of us in the black community think killing yourself is “the coward’s way out of hardship.” Recently I even had one guy tell me, “Killing yourself is the bitch move!”

At some point we in the black community need to stop with the lies, and let go of the denial. The honest truth is that there is no special dispensation from depression bestowed upon African-Americans. There is no innate emotional shield from the darkness that can possess a person’s soul. Just because our ancestors endured 400+ years of chattel slavery and another 100 years of Jim Crow segregation doesn’t remove us from the modern human experience.  Before any black American beat their chests and brag on the toughness of our people for enduring slavery, please keep in mind that thousands and thousands of Africans threw themselves overboard into the Atlantic ocean rather than continue on the journey of the middle passage .We hurt, we cry, we suffer and sometimes we die at our own hands just like every other nationality, ethnicity, race, culture and community of people participating in this American experience. Perhaps we don’t participate in suicide at the same rate as other demographic groups, I don’t know. Or perhaps we find ways to hide our suicides amongst the senseless shootings, deaths and urban crime statistics. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…

I know a few things for sure. I know for sure that I have encountered several black people who have either attempted suicide or at least seriously contemplated it. I have known a few, some who were very close to me, who keep this as their big deep dark secret. They shared their secret with me, either because I shared mine with them first or they sensed that I’d understand if they told me this thing they couldn’t share with anyone else. I spoke to one of these people this week in fact. Alarmed by their text messages, I sat in my family room trying to devise a strategy to encourage them to select an alternative to the decision they texted me they had reached.  I am glad this person didn’t follow through on their train of thought and course of action. I’m so glad that they decided to fight, to push and to endure the curious questioning of “why God isn’t there and why they had to be the eternal outcast in their famiy and amongst their friends? ” I’m glad they decided to find more reasons to draw breath than reasons to stop taking it in. I’m glad because I would miss that person dearly. I would miss them selfishly. I would miss them and somewhere in my sorrow, I’d be jealous that they had the conviction to do what I have thought about doing.

Suicide is our dirty little secret. It’s the family secret we don’t talk about in front of strangers or in front of family. We gloss over the facts and deny the truth, the truth that we all knew about all along. We ignore the message and the cries for help. We cover them up with scriptures, and soul food. We hide them behind marijuana and alcohol. We numb these messages by have sex, lots of sex, lots of premarital, extra-marital, promiscuous sex. But no matter how much we deny, ignore, cover-up, hide or numb the pleas for help, they are always there. ALWAYS.

We must commit to loving one another honestly and listening to one another sincerely. The next time someone talks about killing themselves or is going through a real rough time (weeks, months, years, or tragedy) don’t simply blow off their comments, jokes, midnight tears on the phone or cryptic text messages or Facebook posts. Go meet them where they are (geographically and emotionally) and let them know you care. Let them know how much they mean to you, then do the best most endearing loving thing you can do…TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY AND LISTEN TO THEIR PAIN. Sometimes listening can be enough to make them decide to try again, to love again, to marry again, to have faith again, to live again and to…BREATHE AGAIN.

REST IN PEACE Brother Don Corneilus.

You were the conductor of the “HIPPEST RIDE IN AMERICA!” We’re should all be sorry we didn’t understand the depths of your pain. May you find in death what you could not find in life.

I wish you, “Love, Peace and Soul!”