The Greatest Love Of All

The Greatest Love Of All

On Saturday, February 11, 2012 the world was shocked to receive news that musical icon Whitney Houston was dead at the age of 48. Houston was found in her Hollywood hotel room, unresponsive and lifeless. I think many will agree her light went out far too soon. People will debate the cause of her downfall and the seeds of her demise for years to come. As fans rush out to buy her music and download their favorite singles from ITunes or the internet, Houston’s family is left to mourn the loss of a daughter, mother, friend and ex-wife. This is a morbid reminder that even the “idols” that walk amongst are all too human, and too often just as frail, weak, fallible and needy as we are.

If someone told me in January of 2012 that the world was going to lose an iconic female musical talent, one that set records in the music industry, and blazed a trail for an entire generation of female artists, I would have guessed they were talking about the death of someone like: Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight, maybe Patti LaBelle. I would never have guessed it would be, my boyhood crush, Whitney Houston. With that said, when I received the news via text message as I sat at the Cleveland Cavalier/Philadelphia 76er basketball game at the Quicken Loans Arena in downtown Cleveland, I wasn’t shocked. I wasn’t overwhelmed with wonderment as to how this could happen. Somewhere deep down I think I knew it was true and felt like it was something that was bound to happen.

After a few days my thoughts turned to what I will remember from the life and music of Whitney. I know that I will always have her early music as the soundtrack for my high school memories and my early romantic relationships. I remember getting ready for school in the mornings and hearing her music blaring over the radio on Power 99 FM in Philly. I will always remember listening to her song “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?” after one of the many temporary break ups with a girlfriend. I will remember the tears rolling down my face as I played her song, “One Moment In Time” in my Sony walkman as I struggled to navigate my way through Kutztown University as the first and only person in my family to attend college. I will always cherish her rendition of the “National Anthem” at Superbowl XXV in 1991, just a few months after the beginning of the first Gulf War. As Whitney bellowed out what some say was the best singing of our country’s national anthem ever, I thought of my father a Vietnam veteran and retired Army Sergeant. Her rendition reminded me of what our military personnel sacrifice for the good ole U.S.A. I later found out from my father that he even shed a tear while listening to Whitney’s version when he was watching that Superbowl.

If we learn anything from the death of Ms. Whitney Houston we may want to consider that the seeds of her demise began before anyone other than her family and church members knew who she was. Whitney was indeed given talent that few have ever had, and no one may ever have again. She didn’t have the voice of an angel, but I believe she had an “angelic voice.” She could command the emotions of her audience and take them on a roller coaster ride during her songs. Whitney was beautiful (Oh my Lord so beautiful), she was talented, gifted and she was FLAWED. Flawed just like the rest of us. Her demise began somewhere deep inside her soul, in a place we as adoring fans couldn’t see because of the money, the fame, the glamour, the glitz, the record sales and the adulation.

Whitney was struggling with learning to love herself. She didn’t treat herself the way she would want her daughter Bobbi Kristina to treat herself. She allowed herself to fall to depths that would break her heart if her daughter tumbled into the same deep hole. Whitney struggled with self-esteem even though millions admired her. Whitney battled with valuing herself, in equivalent portion to the value fans worldwide valued her music. As much as we admired, loved, adored, and worshipped Whitney Houston she was just like many of us. Whitney made poor decisions that led to even worse choices. Whitney had talent but took it for granted. Whitney was gifted and perhaps thought it was a gift she’d always have. Whitney was loved on the outside more than she felt loved on the inside and this I believe led to what happened on February 11^th. Whitney’s actions had consequences just like our actions as well.

I ask for anyone reading this to exam the words of one of Ms. Houston’s best known songs and greatest hits. Find yourself in these lyrics and then answer this question, “Do you have the greatest love of all?”

Consider that today don’t wait until Monday, do it today (Wednesday) on HUMP DAY!

“The Greatest Love Of All”

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed at least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all inside of me
The greatest love of all is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed at least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all inside of me
The greatest love of all is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all

And if by chance that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: "Can You Handle The Truth?", part 2

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: "Can You Handle The Truth?", part 2: Wednesday Wisdom by Jay Jay Speaks February 8, 2012 “Can You Handle The Truth?” Part 2 In searching for “THE TRUTH” those who desire ...

"Can You Handle The Truth?", part 2

Wednesday Wisdom

by Jay Jay Speaks

February 8, 2012

“Can You Handle The Truth?”

Part 2

In searching for “THE TRUTH” those who desire to know it must be willing to take hold of the painful reality that what they find may be other than or contrary to their preconceived idea of reality.

We often bandy about phrases such as “the truth shall set you free,” taken from John 8:32 (KJV) “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” but what many don’t count on is that being set free is a painful, gut wrenching, birthing process from which you can never return. Think back to the movie The Matrix, starring Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburn. There is a scene in The Matrix where one of those who “knew the truth about life being a façade and the machines harvesting humans for food, wanted to make a deal with an “agent” (a representative of the Matrix) to be removed from this state of “knowing and reality” and placed back into the matrix, clueless and under the same false reality that the rest of mankind existed in. He knew the truth but found it too unbearable to continue so, he desired to “un-know” and go back to a state of pleasant ignorance.

The truth, it seems, is powerful. The truth can be painful. The truth will set you free but it will hurt and sometimes it will hurt a lot. Sometimes the only thing we can think of to stop the hurt is to go back to not knowing the truth, but once you know, “ya-know” and well…that SUCKS.

We can split hairs and created long winded explanations of what is really true or who’s truth we’re are referring to and perhaps that would be an enjoyable exercise for intellects or academicians to participate in one day. But for the purposes of this entry I’ll use Dictionary.com as my reference point. So if there is a dispute, I will quote one of my mentors Dr. Jack A. Taylor, when I say, “Don’t argue with me argue with my facts.” Dictionary.com defines truth as; the true or actual state of a matter, conformity with fact or reality; a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like; actuality or actual existence. So based on this foundation I caution you all that if you are seeking “THE TRUTH” be prepared to be in pain. I don’t mean to suggest that “THE TRUTH” will always hurt, but I am suggesting that sometimes we have allowed ourselves to falsely believe in the pleasantness of a lie, or distortion. Sometimes we say we want to know the truth, but the magnitude of that request is unknown because of the arrogance of our ignorance.  We believe that the truth will coincide or confirm what we already believe or think. When we flaunt our self-exalting beliefs to this level we are setting ourselves up for a painful fall.

Just like Col. Nathan Jessup (Jack Nicholson) in the movie A FEW GOOD MEN, life attempts to prepare us for the impending blow by telling us “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.” Sometimes life tries to back us off because it can see the plunge that is awaiting us if we continue to pursue “THE TRUTH.”

Sometimes “THE TRUTH,” “THE WHOLE TRUTH,” AND “NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH” is more than we are prepared to handle. Sometimes the truth is:

·         It’s not our partner’s issues that are ruining our relationship. It’s ours!

·         The other person doesn’t love us!

·         Our parents are not the perfect representation of manhood or womanhood we wanted to believe they were!

·         Your child did do it!

·         Your child is not hanging with the wrong crowd, but your child IS THE BAD INFLUENCE on the other kids!

·         Your partner DOES love you, but still made a devastating decision to betray your trust.

·         That dress doesn’t make you look fat. YOU’RE JUST FAT!

·         It doesn’t happen to every guy, and YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS HER LAST BOYFRIEND WAS IN BED!

·         You didn’t get the job because you’re not qualified or you just don’t have the experience they wanted!

·         Your life isn’t working out the way you thought, and it is YOUR FAULT!

·         People are not “hating” on you, you have a BAD ATTITUDE!

·         That man you’re waiting to marry you IS NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU!

·         You are not “BIG BONED” you are considerable overweight!

·         What you were taught about God ISN’T REAL!

Whatever the situation or scenario, if you are a true “TRUTH” seeker you must prepare yourself for the reality that once your find the truth it may hurt your feelings, confirm your beliefs or shatter your world. I guess one could say that “THE TRUTH” doesn’t care how you feel about it or how you react towards it.  The truth is what it is and it doesn’t apologize for being what it is.

The truth is there all along, often just beyond our comfortable grasp. The truth is always looking at us, even if we don’t see it.

Ask yourself, “Can I handle the truth?” If you answer “YES,” buckle your seatbelt and try to enjoy the ride. If you answered “MAYBE” not sure, take my advice and leave it alone. If you answered “NO” I respect your response and say to you, good luck.

Regardless of your response don’t wait until next week ask the question, ask yourself today, answer today and live your life accordingly.

Do it today, on HUMP DAY!

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: Lonely Decision

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: Lonely Decision: Lonely Decision by Jay Jay Speaks February 7, 2012 According to sources in the Los Angeles coroner’s office, the February 1, 2012 death o...

Lonely Decision

Lonely Decision

by Jay Jay Speaks

February 7, 2012

According to sources in the Los Angeles coroner’s office, the February 1, 2012 death of TV pioneer Don Corneilus (host, director and producer of Soul Train, the longest running music television show in history) is officially being ruled a “suicide.”

This will come as a disappointment to many people, particularly many in the African-American community. I’ve already read and heard many black people comment that, they “can’t believe that Don Corneilus actually killed himself,” as if suicide is the forbidden decision for black Americans. Long is the history of denial, refusal and community delusion when it comes to the African American community and the issue of suicide.

For many African Americans it is far easier to grasp the concept that a family member or loved one accidentally overdosed on drugs or alcohol, or was senselessly gunned down in the streets than to come to grips with the reality that a black person may have taken their own life. We can more easily allow ourselves to devise elaborate conspiracy theories of how someone in power (police, politicians or drug kingpins) arranged for someone to be taken out through a conversion of circumstances than to admit that someone we know and cared about reached a conclusion that they would end their own life rather than continue to endure whatever tragedy, depression, sickness, illness, bullying or lack of acceptance their current reality brings. I mean so many of us in the black community think killing yourself is “the coward’s way out of hardship.” Recently I even had one guy tell me, “Killing yourself is the bitch move!”

At some point we in the black community need to stop with the lies, and let go of the denial. The honest truth is that there is no special dispensation from depression bestowed upon African-Americans. There is no innate emotional shield from the darkness that can possess a person’s soul. Just because our ancestors endured 400+ years of chattel slavery and another 100 years of Jim Crow segregation doesn’t remove us from the modern human experience.  Before any black American beat their chests and brag on the toughness of our people for enduring slavery, please keep in mind that thousands and thousands of Africans threw themselves overboard into the Atlantic ocean rather than continue on the journey of the middle passage .We hurt, we cry, we suffer and sometimes we die at our own hands just like every other nationality, ethnicity, race, culture and community of people participating in this American experience. Perhaps we don’t participate in suicide at the same rate as other demographic groups, I don’t know. Or perhaps we find ways to hide our suicides amongst the senseless shootings, deaths and urban crime statistics. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…

I know a few things for sure. I know for sure that I have encountered several black people who have either attempted suicide or at least seriously contemplated it. I have known a few, some who were very close to me, who keep this as their big deep dark secret. They shared their secret with me, either because I shared mine with them first or they sensed that I’d understand if they told me this thing they couldn’t share with anyone else. I spoke to one of these people this week in fact. Alarmed by their text messages, I sat in my family room trying to devise a strategy to encourage them to select an alternative to the decision they texted me they had reached.  I am glad this person didn’t follow through on their train of thought and course of action. I’m so glad that they decided to fight, to push and to endure the curious questioning of “why God isn’t there and why they had to be the eternal outcast in their famiy and amongst their friends? ” I’m glad they decided to find more reasons to draw breath than reasons to stop taking it in. I’m glad because I would miss that person dearly. I would miss them selfishly. I would miss them and somewhere in my sorrow, I’d be jealous that they had the conviction to do what I have thought about doing.

Suicide is our dirty little secret. It’s the family secret we don’t talk about in front of strangers or in front of family. We gloss over the facts and deny the truth, the truth that we all knew about all along. We ignore the message and the cries for help. We cover them up with scriptures, and soul food. We hide them behind marijuana and alcohol. We numb these messages by have sex, lots of sex, lots of premarital, extra-marital, promiscuous sex. But no matter how much we deny, ignore, cover-up, hide or numb the pleas for help, they are always there. ALWAYS.

We must commit to loving one another honestly and listening to one another sincerely. The next time someone talks about killing themselves or is going through a real rough time (weeks, months, years, or tragedy) don’t simply blow off their comments, jokes, midnight tears on the phone or cryptic text messages or Facebook posts. Go meet them where they are (geographically and emotionally) and let them know you care. Let them know how much they mean to you, then do the best most endearing loving thing you can do…TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY AND LISTEN TO THEIR PAIN. Sometimes listening can be enough to make them decide to try again, to love again, to marry again, to have faith again, to live again and to…BREATHE AGAIN.

REST IN PEACE Brother Don Corneilus.

You were the conductor of the “HIPPEST RIDE IN AMERICA!” We’re should all be sorry we didn’t understand the depths of your pain. May you find in death what you could not find in life.

I wish you, “Love, Peace and Soul!”

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH? part 1

Jay Jay's Thoughts Your Reactions: CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH? part 1: Wednesday Wisdom by Jay Jay Speaks February 1, 2012 “Can You Handle The Truth?” Part 1 I’ve been gone for a while, some of you have notic...

CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH? part 1

Wednesday Wisdom

by Jay Jay Speaks

February 1, 2012

“Can You Handle The Truth?”

Part 1

I’ve been gone for a while, some of you have noticed and perhaps others haven't. Perhaps some have missed my observations and musings and still others never read any of my writings at all. Regardless of your familiarity with my blog, notes or postings, I stopped writing in October of 2011. I stopped because my spirit was broken. I felt that the things I “had hoped for, based on the evidence of things unseen” were untrue. I felt that I had nothing left to offer that anyone would consider helpful, inspirational or motivational, let alone educational as the description of my blog says.

Well I’m back and perhaps I don’t have anything “worthy” to offer but once again I am feeling compelled to share with the universe where I am. Perhaps it is my ego’s attempt to matter, to make a difference or somehow be acknowledged. It may even be my feeble attempt to leave literary “footprints” in the blogosphere that I actually existed at some point. A trail or trace that can be stumbled upon if someone does a Google Search and finds one of my entries decades from now. I admit I am probably guilty of some or all of those motives, but I’m back nonetheless.

I’m living through a low season of life. I challenged God to be real in my life, to actually guide, direct and lead me into whatever destiny “HE” had for me, rather than the plans I designed. I took a huge figurative and literal LEAP of FAITH. This leap was easy enough to take in the spirit; it was painfully scary, terrifying and humongous in reality. 

I went in search of “THE TRUTH” of whether God was real.

Wow….Yeah I say it. I went in search of “THE TRUTH.”

Dictionary.com defines truth (noun),

1. the true or actual state of a matter: He tried to find out the truth.

2. conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement.

3. a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like: mathematical truths.

4. the state or character of being true.

5. actuality or actual existence.

 This same resource documents that acceptable synonyms for the word TRUTH are:  fact, veracity, sincerity, candor, frankness, precision, exactness. These are all words that I consider complimentary and honorable. I thought this is a noble pursuit one that will surely bring me closer the Lord. For John 4:24 says, “For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.”

I wanted to know if after being raised in the church, professing Christ for 3/4ths of my life, if it was really working or if I had just made some “good choices” and was doing it by myself and was giving a non-existent entity credit. I wanted to know “THE TRUTH.” I reasoned with myself that I just wanted to know the truth so that I could know in my heart of hearts that I was living a life worth living. I don’t know why this became so important, but I can tell you that it was. I wanted John 8:32 to not only be a nice catch phrase for someone who wanted to feel self-righteous, I wanted it to be applicable to my life. John 8:32 (KJV) “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

What I didn’t anticipate was that pursuing the answer to this question would take me on a roller coast ride that I couldn’t get off of because it got scary. I didn’t know that the deep end, would be so dark, cold and isolating. I didn’t know that the loneliness would be so pervasive and isolating. I didn’t know that pursuing “THE TRUTH” would cause some friends to turn their backs, and allow others to snicker publicly at my disarray. I didn’t know that chasing “THE TRUTH” would disconnect me from loved ones who had always been the beacon of light and arms of comfort in troubled times. I couldn’t have known that pursuing “THE TRUTH” would cause me to be an atheist for 6-days in the summer and early fall of 2011. I didn’t know that this journey would cause to so severely question the paradigm of God that I was given in Sunday school.

I thought this would be an exciting awakening, one that would produce a light on the inside that could not be extinguished by man or demonic force. I thought God would be there ever step to be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. I thought a lot of things and I’m finding out a lot more.

I’ve come to realize that I’m not sure if I “CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH.”

I do know two things at this point. #1 I am not the same person I was 1-year ago and #2 I am not finished walking yet.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE, and I’m going to find it.

I’m going to find “THE TRUTH” or die trying…

I’m baaaaack!!!!!!!!! READY OR NOT HERE I COME!